|
None of the people on the list below knew
about Adult ADD.
They were never diagnosed or treated. If
they had of been, would they still be on this list?
Did they self medicate? We know some did!
Perhaps they all did... we'll never know.
However, cannabis has been around for
centuries, and like today,
people discover the focusing qualities of
marijuana everyday.
Be honest... pot has been around a lot
longer than Ritalin or Adderall.
Or... did they achieve their passion and
fame
“because” they “weren't” diagnosed and
treated?
They didn't need help finding their way,
they needed to be left alone,
totally unaware of their gift in order to be
who they were meant to be...
alternative, out-of-the-box, possibility
thinkers.
I believe there are thousands of genius ADD
contributors that have been denied their destiny
because of ADD
diagnosis and treatment... for 12 years, just to get a high school
diploma.
Education is a good thing... if it doesn't
hold you back!
Having a diploma doesn't mean you're
educated, being educated doesn't mean you have a diploma.
Focused passion, has a Master's Degree in
any goal and can transcend education...
sometimes by centuries.
Does your name belong on the list
below?
Presidents
Abraham Lincoln
Donald J. Trump
Military General
Norman Schwarzkopf
Architect
Frank Lloyd Wright
Artists
Salvador Dali
Pablo Picasso
Vincent Van Gogh
Athletes
Terry Bradshaw
Michael Phelps
Pete Rose
Nolan Ryan
Michael Jordan
Jason Kidd
Authors
Charlotte and Emily Bronte
Samuel Clemens
Emily Dickenson
Edgar Allan Poe
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Robert Frost
George Bernard Shaw
Henry David Thoreau
Leo Tolstoy
Tennessee Williams
Virginia Woolf
William Butler Yeats
Composer
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
Entrepreneurs and Business Leaders
Andrew Carnegie
Malcolm Forbes
Henry Ford
Steve Jobs
Bill Gates
Sir Richard Branson
David Neeleman
Paul Orfalea
Ted Turner
Explorers
Christopher Columbus
Lewis and Clark
Inventors
Alexander Graham Bell
Thomas Edison
Benjamin Franklin
Entertainers
Ann Bancroft
Jim Carrey
Steve McQueen
Patty Duke
Stevie Wonder
Will Smith
Jack Nicholson
Ty Pennington
Elvis Presley
Evil and Robbie Knievel
Sylvester Stallone
Robin Williams
Wright Brothers
Photographer
Ansel Adams
Physicist
Albert Einstein
Political Figures
James
Carville
John F. Kennedy
This letter is to my children and grandchildren. Like me,
you are all ADD/ADHD. Like me, your life will be
different....
Like me, you may find it to be the most exciting,
adventure ever imagined. Like me, you'll discover the
power of "hyper focus" for your passion.
Like me, life starts here..,. buckle up!
Before becoming a Luxury Home builder, I was a Regional
Director for a restaurant chain based in Edina, Minnesota
where I oversaw 6 restaurants
plus the Corporate Training center.
I taught management and business dynamics to
20-25 college grads in a
classroom.
I was transferred to Utah as the hub, to start the chain in all
states west of the
Mississippi River. After opening 6 units in Utah, I had heard of a private chain selling franchises
for $15,000. each.
I called a franchise owner in Boise for a visit. I loved
the restaurant, he gave me contact info to call the company president.
I got an
appointment with Dale Elmer, president and part owner
of the Elmer's restaurants. Dale picked me
up at the airport and
we spent the
day looking at building sights and meeting his father, the founder.
Turns out,
we were looking for each other. Dale explained to me that he had dozens of investors begging for
a franchise but
none had restaurant experience.
Dale Elmer called a father and son investor to
meet us
for franchise talks. The Father and son wanted sole franchise rights for the entire state of Arizona,
starting in Scottsdale.
Where I would exclusively own every 4th restaurant.
I was to open their first Elmer's restaurant in King City, Oregon... which I
did.
This was to familiarize myself with the Elmer's way of doing things. Six months after we opened, they came to me and said...
we hate the restaurant
business, it's too demanding and don't want to go through with the agreement.
However, because I did
everything I said I could,
they offered to financially back me if I wanted to take the restaurant.
Elmer's
had first right to "buy back" and they took it.
So, I decided to be a luxury home
builder. It was my next passion. The home below on the left was purchased by an
oral surgeon,
the one on the right (next door) I lived in for a year while building
the one on left.
I then sold the one I lived in to a
Portland Trailblazer.
I was the
first person to learn how to stream high definition,
full screen video on the internet.
My first video was for a real estate agent in Scottsdale, AZ.
The following HD video's were the
first in the nation.
(The home price was $4,500,000.)
The real estate agent paid me $7,000.00 for the 3 videos below.
Estate
Tour:
Estate
Grounds:
Guest
Cottage:
|
This next
video was a commercial I did for Silverthorn Resort at
Shasta Lake, CA.
I bartered a high definition, full
screen internet video for me and 18 family members to go on a
"free" week vacation on their
"flagship Houseboat" while filming. (It was $10,000. per week)
Silverthorn Resort at Shasta
Lake
|
I was also the first person to stream
video home tours on the MLS.
Of course, I was told by their computer tech, it couldn't be
done.
I was also the first to stream real estate tours on "Craig's
List". |
realtor.com represents most realtors in
the nation.
(Home of the "National Association of Realtors") with
over 1.2million members. (at that time) They had 120 companies
that offered 360 home tours.
For over 2 years I was the only person that offered high
definition,
full screen home video tours on
realtor.com.
I also had a 900 page real estate web site that was number one
on all search engines, in all search strings for over 4 years.
I had figured out Google and Internet Explorer algorithm's.
|
|
|
Shawnee Smith and I at Lacamas Shores walking
trail Camas, Wa.
My stepdaughter, at the time, met Shawnee
while in California
pursuing
an acting career. Jeff Goldblum was their acting coach is how
they met.
Shawnee had just come off doing a movie with John Candy.
"Who's Harry Crumb?" My wife's daughter offered our home for some R&R.
After seeing pictures of our house and LaCamas Lake, she said yes.
Shawnee enjoyed roller blading with her dog and driving up the gorge
in
the Ferrari. I think she vacationed with us about 2-3 weeks.
At that time, I was the second person to live their and the 2nd builder.
My view was the entire Lake and beyond
with not one home to look
at but the red country home across the lake.
I was also the president of the "Architectural
Design Committee" for Lacamas Shores.
I also built the "Lacamas Shores Show Home" with pool, for the
owner/developer. At that time, it was the most expensive home
per square foot in Clark County.
(below)
First home I built and lived in at LaCamas Shores...
Shawnee Co-staring with Charlie Sheen on "Anger Management"
|
My incredible journey
-
Everyone has a story and they're all different... this is mine and it’s true. I only ask that you keep
an open mind.
Just keep remembering that, no one on earth thought a human
could run a “four minute mile” without their lungs or heart exploding.
One man did in 1954 and changed the world’s
belief system, now we all can run a four-minute mile if we want too.
This
one man didn’t show us how special he was, he showed us how special we all
are and have been all along.
Since then, the four minute mile has
been bested by seventeen seconds.
-
BIO- I'm 73 years old, first born alpha male, with
"data driven ADD". Raised in the low income area of
a small town
in the desert of Arizona, 90 miles from the Mexican border. I lived between two Mexican families,
from 4 to 14 years old.
My
first best friend was Jose. At 12, I was
6'2 at 197 lbs. I was built like a pear and had the worst acne problem in
school.
I was also the dumbest trouble maker in school. I never read a book
in my life (couldn't get past the first paragraph) except one
and I read it
twice. Go figure. I didn't graduate from high school. I was never diagnosed
or treated with drugs or counseling
because nothing was known about ADD
at
that time.
-
The term “ADD” hadn't been recognized and published until 1980. There was
never an opportunity for me to receive any information, diagnosis or
treatment simply because of my age in history. Looking back, knowledge or
awareness of ADD didn’t exist then.
My behavior in the past has always been
a diversion of the core issue. The fear of being called stupid by classmates
and peers.
You know you’re not, but when you can’t focus you can’t remember, if you can’t remember,
learning or following instructions
become impossible.
-
The first 20 years of an average ADDer's life is spent listening to
teacher's, family, friends and people in authority tell them they have a
deficit disorder and a dysfunctional approach to a normal lifestyle. If you
can't be taught in school the way we (establishment) mapped it out
for you, then you, must have a problem. I take issue with that.
-
Our society started with the idea that a truly free people have the right of
education. One of the first things mandated was a nationwide, standard
curriculum (reading, writing and math).
Everyone learned the same thing from
the same school books.
-
All governments in most
cultures are constantly looking for the next mathematical genius,
inventor, scientist, entrepreneur or engineer.
So, the government
mandates the curriculum based on the needs of the individual and
of the country. As it should! In order to grow, prosper and
maintain independence and freedom, you must find these gifted
people within your own society.
Mandatory high school, curriculum
isn't always tailor made for finding these people.
-
The current mandatory high school curriculum of English, Algebra, Geometry,
Biology, Science, History, Geography and Foreign Language, is not ADD
friendly. Twelve years of the most horrible time of my life was school. A
diploma might get me a job at minimum wage, part time, if you can find one.
As an ADDer, I would rather trust my own brain storming ability to find
“hyper/laser focus” on any passion. This is the fundamental right and gift of
freedom.
If ADDer's are gifted, it's because of “freedom of expression”.
Without that, we wouldn't exist... America wouldn't exist!
-
We know that some of the most creative and gifted people in history had ADD.
We know, they had hard times socially and either flunked out or quit school.
It's how they found their genius!
They stopped wasting their time on someone
else's mandatory,
“one size fits all” curriculum.
-
How is it that ADDer's are found in the middle of history's giants in,
invention, innovation and forward thinking.
They found their passion, not
education. ADDer's are being evaluated on someone else's “avenue” of
learning and understanding. Treatment, ADD labeling and sidelining school age children, can't be the only
answer to this insane scenario.
Going to Doctors, Therapists and Councilors
at great expense to parents is necessary!... Really? Does your child really have to loose
their personality and ability to feel normal just to focus on a diploma? For
twelve years? That's the best we can do?
What if you just find the child's
passion and let them find their own focus.
-
Three things... Let us be judged on
our own curriculum.
Don't label us! And... get out of our way!
Now, answer me this one question... Why was I taught, all the
years in school to think in the box, conform, be like everyone
else to get a job.
Then, told in seminar's, books and college's
around the world... if you want to become rich, powerful and
successful you must be innovative, inventive and focused on your
passion but above all else...
learn to think out of the
box!
What educated scholar should I listen to?
-
Should I listen to the educated smart guy that label people that
don't think in the box as having a "learning disability". Or, the
scholar that says... if you want to invent, discover,
revolutionize, or change the status quo you must learn to
"think out of the box".
Apple, the most successful company in the world originally had two
words that were part of the original Apple logo itself...
"think different" which later became "think out
of the box".
-
When I think out of the box, I think the guy that thinks he knows
ADD should get his narcissistic head out of his no-knowing ass...
(sorry, I had to say it)
Does this mean everyone should stop their current ADD treatment? Absolutely
not!
Here's my dilemma... I made it 74
years without pro treatment of any kind. However, when faced with my own ADD
children
being sent home from school because of behavior issues,
I was
horrified by what I was told. First, my Son was not allowed back in school
until he was diagnosed by a “professional”
and prescribed Ritalin to be
administered by them on a daily bases. That, they would not waist class time
on one individual.
If my boy was to get an education, he would need to be
drugged everyday,
for twelve years,
in order to focus to get a diploma.
-
I had never been that angry and emotional at the same time. I knew I didn't
want him to go through what I did in life, but I could see that very thing
beginning right in front of my eyes. I was forced to go with the treatment.
I had to order my Son to get high on Ritalin everyday so he could get a job
at grad. He asked; do I stop taking Ritalin
when I get a job? I thought; If he does he may loose his job. If it's a
boring job, he'll have to maintain medication. If he finds his passion, he
can throw the meds away! |
I have two Sons and one Grandson all have severe
ADD and did or are, taking meds now.
-
Recent research has found a new DNA discovery of ADD being passed to next
generations. I don't doubt that. However, there is
another source that makes just as much sense...
-
“The
children shall bare the sins of the parents”. I don't say that to point
fingers at anyone but myself.
I know I could have been a better parent. They
are my children and my responsibility to teach them the way they should go
in life.
If you were raised by dysfunctional parents, chances are, you've
been taught the same lifestyle. If the parent/parents were “abusive”
it
could cause daily, major focus on the abuse which would cause the inability
to focus on other things, especially school.
-
Then again, maybe it's not that at all and it's strictly a DNA thing. Either
way, it's the parent!
I have been self medicating with pot for over 53
years.
Without pot I can’t focus, so reading or listening to instructions
is
almost impossible. Been that way my whole life.
-
Like me, it seems a lot of people think they are adult ADD. However, I found
that, if I had passion about being an executive
or owner of a business, I
could lead or manage with no problems, even excel because ADD won't let me
focus on anything
but my passion and goals..
-
Some pot strains will actually help you focus on a task and get it done.
Certain strains are also great for brainstorming a
problem and come up with
the solution.
-
Here are some pluses and minuses of living with ADD,
while unaware, with no Ritalin or counseling...
Kicked out of kindergarten, age 4.
Walked home from school (2 miles) 1st
and 2nd grade. I didn't like my teachers mad at me.
Went to private school, 3rd grade, first kid to see Principal in 3 years..
To public school for 4th grade, first to get swats from principal in 9 years.
11th time sent to office that day.
In
5th,
6th, 7th and 8th grade I was the first every year to be sent to the principal for discipline.
It usually took 3 days.
First every
year to get swats by the principal from his famous 2x4 paddle.
First year in high school I had 5 study
halls and P.E. I was kicked out of all classes at one point.
My
younger brother started school 2 years behind me. On the first
day’s roll call the teacher asked
if I was his brother, he said
yes and was kicked out of class before it even started.
Kicked off the Varsity football team for confrontation with the
coach.
-
I was half way thru flunking my 5th year in high school when I joined the
army at one month 17.
My girlfriend got pregnant at one month 16. Being from a
small town in the middle of the Arizona desert,
I chose to be stationed at a
missile base in Minnesota because,
It was the farthest location
from my home
town.
I wanted to leave and never look back.
-
I was at the missile base 6 months before I ever saw a missile.
I was in
trouble starting the first day.
-
There were two locations for the base I was assigned to. I painted every
building, mowed all the lawns,
pulled everyone’s guard duty and was on KP
when I wasn’t
doing all the
other sh_t details.
-
Once a year there was a “General” inspection where all the brass and
Generals are there from Command.
I was assigned two men, one Sergeant and
one Corporal with walkie talkies.
Their assignment was to make sure that
where ever the General was,
I was on the other
side of the base.
-
No one understood ADD back then, they just thought I was a smart-ass trouble
maker that wouldn’t do what he was told.
I thought that too cause I didn’t
know why else
I was always in trouble.
-
At 74, I could go on with another fifty + years of experiences, but you get
the picture.
-
There is, however, another side to ADD. Simply put... If we aren’t
interested in something, we can’t focus. That’s all ADD is.
If we are
interested, we excel “because” of focus. Let me explain... in high school I
pretty much flunked all my classes except the
oneI was interested in.
No
one in the entire school could come close to my final exam score in Biology.
-
Remember the General inspection earlier? He spotted us anyway and waved us
over to the warhead building.
He lined up about a dozen of us and started
asking a question that no one could answer. When he got to me, all the
Officers behind
him were cringing and turning pale. He asked me the question
no one could answer and I answered correctly.
Then the General proceeded to
fire one question after another which I answered everyone correctly.
This
went on for several minutes.
He asked why I was still a buck private
considering the fact that I knew more than anyone in the building. My
commanding officer was ordered by the General to promote me on the spot
because I represented the best example
of what he looks for in leadership,
initiative and intelligence and then stormed out of the building.
-
Everyone stood there looking at me in total disbelief. I was also in shock.
All of a sudden, I wasn’t the person we all knew.
I wasn’t the smart-ass
troublemaker everyone expected, including me. I was a total contradiction to
any logic.
What the hell just happened? Turns out, ADD doesn’t mean you’re
stupid. For me, it means I can’t focus on things that don’t interest me.
Apparently, I was interested in biology, missile systems and sex...?
-
Out of the Army at 20, newly divorced, alone, no education, no job skills or
direction. It was the first best time of my life for some very
special reasons. All of a sudden, there was no one to tell me or remind me
that I had a problem paying attention or focusing.
I had no one
reminding me, 24/7 ( for good reason or bad ) of my issues, including
myself. For the first time in my life I was living outside the bounds of any
structured institution. Home, school, the army and my marriage, were all of
a sudden, in the past... I was free!
-
I learned to do my own thing because there wasn't anything else. Alcohol and
pot was everyone's drug of choice in the 60's,
probably still is. In
1967 I turned 20, and had no knowledge of ADD.
-
Consider this... My sex knowledge was elementary at best. I had been
with only 2 girls, both in high school. The number one sex manual said,
female orgasm was a myth and multiple was a mental issue. I had been
the biggest, tallest, fattest, dumbest, un-coolest, unfriended, acne filled
goober on the planet and I agreed with it all... until I was on my own!
-
For the first time in my life, no one knew me or my past. I was a brand new
person with no issues!
Living in a new town, Minneapolis, MN., making new
friends.
I found out at 19 that I was allergic to milk. My nightmare acne
problem ended the day I stopped drinking milk.
I haven't had one pimple in
52 years. Lost all the weight and got in shape.
I was ready to find out how
a “normal” person lives. However, I had no idea this thing
called ADD was coming with!
-
I finally found my passion and focus... girls! Now, I really have ADD
cause I can't focus on anything else.
-
I was hooked the first time I smoked pot with a girl in ways you can't
imagine. We were chatting and all of a sudden,
I couldn't remember what I
was talking about. I almost went in
to a full blown panic attack. My first
date with an adult,
in my new life, everything going great and now she knows
my issue.
-
I started to apologize and she busted out laughing. I almost got angry until
she said; Like you're the only one.
That happens to everyone that smokes
pot. I almost leaped out of my shoes. To her, I was totally normal even with
not being able to
focus or remember. We laughed...what a liberating moment!
My life had become an explosion of un-restricted
adventure and milestones I
was never allowed to experience before.
-
From that day forward I made sure that if anyone had a problem with my focus
or memory, I just told them I had smoked pot.
From that day forward my life
was in hyper drive. I feel as if I was living 4 or 5 lifetimes,
simultaneously.
Never allowing any experience or adventure to pass me by.
Obsessed with being everywhere, with everyone, everyday and night!
I had
lived in a box, full of miss-judging, miss-labeling and miss-understanding
my whole life.
I was finally out of the box and was never going back.
My new
goal was to fill every day with all the days I had missed and wasn't allowed
to live for the past 20 years.
-
For the next three years I was with more women and had more sex than a
Rock Star on Viagra. Unlike Rock Star girls, my ladies
were all longer term
relationships. Casual sex was never my thing. In the beginning, I
had apartment keys to 7 and 8 girls at all times
while dating even
more, yet I lived alone and no one knew where I lived or my phone
number.
It was normal for me to be with 3, 4 and sometimes 5 girls
in one 24 hour period. I literally had no time to find a job or
work.
I lived on “unemployment beach”, Lake Calhoun, Minnesota
in
the summer's of 68, 69 & 70.
Work all winter, live off
un-employment, girls and friends all Summer.
-
I didn't need a car. (I could borrow one girls car to take out
another). I also let a friend move in that was a top car salesman.
I would
tell him what type of car I wanted to use on a certain day and he
would bring it home.
Actually, hitchhiking everywhere was the most
fun. It was the best way to
meet new friends, and find out where all the
parties were all over the city. Sometimes I would stick out my thumb just to meet new people and experience
the next new
adventure for the day. It was the era of brotherly love, peace
and bra burning.
Girls were definitely evolving and so ready to
experience life, sex and relationships in a new exciting and liberated way.
-
An incredible realization... at this moment in time, girls and I were
both searching for the same answers to the same questions,
for the same
reasons. We had both been in a box our whole lives, being told how to act,
what you should and should not do.
We both had been watched and directed our
entire lives. We were judged on our behavior and ability to conform.
Our
family, society and religion had prepared us both for this moment in time.
And we are both totally unprepared for this life during the transition of
the 60's and 70's. Everything seemed to change over night.
-
All the parameters and filters we were raised with were now obsolete and
mostly irrelevant. We were our own “search engine”.
Surfing our minds and
each other's for answers as relentlessly as we do today on the Internet.
We were kindred spirits, all searching for knowledge and wisdom, the most valuable and sought after
treasure in life.
However, on the internet, there is so much knowledge about
every individual subject, that the truth gets buried in a million
different
opinions, surveys and polls.
-
It's sometimes more confusing than before. Knowledge has turned into
“multiple choice” with no affirmation.
If you really want “affirmation”
about anything, you still have to find out
with your own experiences.
-
Old belief's didn't apply in
this new world. Girls, in their late teens/early 20's, had just moved away from home or college to the city.
They all seemed
to have great jobs, drove great cars and had great apartments full of more
great girls.
They were all
perfectly positioned in life, right where there parents wanted them...
What's the first thing they all did? Go to unemployment beach to find boys
like me. I go to the beach to find girls like them.
We were all looking for
new knowledge for understanding life, relationships and sex.
Sex always
seemed to be the first, overwhelming favorite approach to learning about
relationships when you are young, naive and single.
-
Girls (back then) were
prepared and looking for “Mr. Right” but not before they
experienced a little “girls gone wild” first.
“Bad Boys” were at the top of a lot of girls bucket list when
finally on their own.
-
The top of my bucket list was, finding out what it was that my Father didn't
know or couldn't do, to keep my Mother
from being with other men their whole
marriage. I could never stand the insecurity of this lifestyle.
My whole
purpose for being with women was the same as theirs being with me. We wanted answers about
things we needed to
know before having the courage or confidence to go
forward to find and keep a life partner.
I was looking for why my parents
and so many other couples never make it, even though there seemed to be love
in the beginning.
-
There was no way I was going to have a horrible marriage like my parents. I
think, the hyper focus of ADD made me realize early on that, someone had to
recognize and break this “cycle of madness” in order to end it.
-
My ADD had locked me into a life long, relentless hyper/laser focus on
why
relationships are so difficult and unsuccessful. Ever since I was five
years old, I've known that... no one can find happiness or security in a
relationship until you find the answer as to why they don't work. I had
found the source for that information in women. My only problem in acquiring
this intimate knowledge was... all girls are different, a lot different,
yet, alike! The more I dated, the more I learned that, if there was no
intimacy, the relationship would never form and would rapidly die of
neglect. All my relationships started with endless hours of talking,
sharing, laughing and experiencing new things.
-
I began to see a pattern for the first time that made me realize they
weren't as different as I thought. I began to understand a woman's side to
the whole process and was able to tell them things about me in a very honest
way. Intimacy was now my hyper/laser focus, not sex.
At our young age, we
were all each other's first intimate, all night talks and sexual
experiences. A wealth of the knowledge I was seeking came from each girl I
was with. Every girl I was with made me realize there was more I didn't know
or understand.
-
As an ADDer in hyper drive, I found that, intimacy could stop me dead in my
tracks and allow me to honestly focus on things not seen before. Intimacy is
the sharing of honest self discovery. Exactly what we were all
looking for. Once you experience that with someone,
for the first time, you
can't just walk away. That's why I never did... I couldn't. It's why all my
relationships were long-term,
I never said goodbye to any girl. They weren't
my girlfriends, they were my best friends.
-
This
is how I could be in so many relationships... simultaneously. All girls that
dated me knew from the start I wasn't Mr. Right.
Honest, intimate dialog is
a lot easier and more direct when neither have to perform the usual “dog and
pony show”
on a date. In one night we could become “best friends” with
benefits... or not.
-
In one night, I found that, I
could learn more intimate, personal and private things they had never told anyone.
This is where we both began to
find our own answers. I learned that an intimate and honest relationship
with a woman is
priceless and rare. When one would occur, I would keep and
maintain the relationship...never ending it.
I couldn't shut it off! I loved
and cared about them all.
-
I remember always going home alone exhausted at 3 or 4 in the morning. As
soon as I would sit down, I would hear nothing but the horrible sound of
silence, something I lived with my whole life. Being grounded to your room,
with nothing to do but
stare at the ceiling for weeks at a time, while
growing up, will do that.
-
I just couldn't do that anymore. Being alone was never going happen again. I
would go right back out, get in the car I was using, and drive 10 or 15
miles to one of my girlfriends apartments, let myself in, crawl into bed and
finally be able to sleep.
-
I realized what was missing in my parents marriage. They never had a
relationship or intimacy. Mom was born and raised an only child in the
Cockney section of London, England. Her nickname, her whole life, was
“Queen”. Dad was raised one of eleven kids on a share cropper farm in
Arkansas. Mom was a grad, Dad was fifth grade literate. During the end of
the war in 1945 they met,
she got pregnant with me, became a war bride and
moved to the States. They never had a chance.
-
Mom was the original “girls gone wild”. Singing on stage, in pubs, at 15 for
American Yanks during air raid black-outs.
My Grandmother told me how she
would go looking for Mom, on her bike, while bombs dropped all over town.
She had been bombed out of 4 apartments during the war.
My mother was
definitely a hand full.
She spoke in a heavy English accent, was outgoing,
outrageous and beautiful with a triple E bra size.
Dad was married and buried in the
same, 33 year old dress shoes ... military issue.
They were as different as
two people could be.
-
My Grandmother told me a story of a special type of panties worn by a lot of
girls during the war. They were called “one yank and their off”. Apparently,
Mom was wearing those very panties on the day Mom and Dad met. Mom showed
Dad how they worked. Result...
A one way ticket to America and me!
Poor Mom, she expected the Emerald
City and got a share cropper shack in Arkansas.
Can you imagine the culture
shock when she met my Dad's parents.
-
Both Dad's parents are on the porch spitting snuff into coffee cans while
being introduced. As Mom enters their house, she obviously notices the 13,
live in, pet chickens. She notices coffee cans on both sides of all
doorways, full of snuff spit. You can hear critters running around in the
ceiling and the outhouse is partially in the hole and the whole thing is
leaning
too far to use.
-
December 20th
Mom and Dad were visiting for Christmas and got snowed in. My Dad's Mom
delivered me in that house while on Christmas vacation. Mom was 20, Dad was
27.
-
The day I met “Her”... She was the
first of several dozen relationships.
-
It was raining, a friend and I were stopped at a red light. I noticed two
girls and an infant waiting for the bus, in the rain.
I rolled the window
down and asked if they would like a ride and get the baby out of the rain,
they accepted and got in.
There is only one “first time experience”
in anything.
-
Carol, was her name and being around her was like being with a
famous, beautiful movie star.
I was totally smitten by this
incredible girl. We decided to see each other the next day. She explained
that the baby was hers and her African American boyfriend whom she lived
with for the past 3 years. She didn't want to be with him any longer so was
living with a girlfriend when we met. We talked all day and that night, had
sex.
-
Sidebar:
When a person acquires knowledge, wisdom or achievement, you
call it a milestone in your journey of life.
When this dynamic happens to a
person that has absolutely no knowledge of how it happened or why I call it
a “Forest Gump moment”. Which happened all through my life.
-
Our first time together was a “Forest Gump moment” for both of us.
Carol just had 7 orgasms for the first
time.
As things were winding down, she opens her eyes, smiles and says; Mom
always told me I would meet someone like you.
I replied; No one, ever, told me I would meet someone like you! Then she said; One of the reasons
I wanted to have sex with you was...
Well, like you, I'm white. I've been
with eleven guys in my life and was curious to know what sex would be like
with a white guy.
Then she said; now I'm even more curious...
I want to see
if the second time well be as good as the first, I've never had more than
two before. She smiled... I was toast!
-
Remember, I had never been with anyone that knew anything about anything,
including me. The number one sex manual of the day, said; “Female orgasm was
a myth and multiple was a mental issue”. Carol thought I was sexually,
beyond anything she ever experienced. (Forest Gump moment) Truth is; As I
remember it, all I did was hang on. She hadn't been with anyone for about 6
months,
which could explain a lot. The girl had a place she had to be! She
just took me along for the ride. Surprised us both. Truth be known,
I was
fascinated about what had just happened. Back then (not like now) there was
no internet or knowledge base for anything.
-
Being ADD and a witness to 7 myths, my new passion and
hyper/laser focus
was... how it happened and is this what was missing in my parents
relationship? I was determined to find out. Eventually, she could reach
over 40 orgasms/myths. Our whole relationship was based on great sex, not a
great relationship that generates great sex... big difference.
(This will
come in to play later in the story)
She didn't like pot, so we never used
it in our relationship. I did, however, smoke pot in all other
relationships.
-
A short time later we began living together for
the next year or so. I never stopped seeing other women. Although
sex was great,
I knew she wasn't the one. But... In 1969 we were finely getting
married. We drove to Chicago from Minneapolis for the wedding and
her
relatives had flown in from out of town as well. Two hours before the
wedding I jumped in my car and drove back to
Minneapolis.
-
A year later, I was getting married to a different girl. I showed a friend
the wedding ring I just bought for myself.
He asked me why it didn't look
like a wedding ring?
-
I told him the truth... in about 3 months my new wife will find out that I'm
not who she thought and realize she made a mistake.
So, I got a ring that
will look good as a pinky ring as well. He laughed, I told him it was no
joke.
I honestly believed that a three month marriage is pretty much as long
as It would last... with anyone. I'm wearing it on my pinky now!
-
Every step in my life has been trying to figure out what was going on inside
and why marriages and happy families were so
difficult and horrible.... Ruuun Forest!
-
Turns out, I wouldn't change a thing. In my opinion, other ADDer's
wouldn't either, like, ( Steve Jobs, founder: Apple )
( Richard Branson
founder: Virgin Air ) ( Paul Orfalea Kinko's founder ) on and on.
We are all
of similar age. Which means we never knew about ADD or how to treat it. We
were all left on our own to figure out life with ADD. We don't need help
with our lives, just understanding that... society cannot go forward without
both ADD and non-ADD.
Working together in a “ying-yang” type of
dependency on one another.
-
Steve Jobs said it best before ADD was ever known about. I believe this
quote was about Him trying to explain... himself.
Quote: “Here's to the crazy ones,
the misfits, the rebels, the trouble-makers, the round pegs in the square
holes...
The ones who see things differently, they're not fond of rules...
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them or vilify them, the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
... because they change things...
they push the human race forward and while some may see them as the crazy
ones, we see genius... Because the ones who are crazy enough to think that
they can change the world, are the ones who do”.
-
ADDer's are forced their whole lives to find new, innovative and
alternative ways to do everything. That's what we do!
That's what we
contribute!
When we do, we give the world a new and creative perspective to
everything. Expanding the knowledge base and opening mind's.
-
Where do you think all the knowledge for all the books of higher learning in
Universities come from?
It comes from the passion and hyper/laser focus of the ADDer's of the world. We are the explorers, entrepreneurs, idea people,
poets, writers, actors, philosophers, great painters, visionaries, musical
geniuses.
All stemming from uncontrollable hyper/laser focus on our passion not
education. Education, to an ADDer, can be a diversion and a destroyer of
their own creativity and direction. Human and social evolution would not be
possible without their
progressive, alternative and innovative
contributions.
-
What book or university will you find any of these abilities? NONE!!! It's
not something you can learn. It's something you are!
Something you were born
to be! The only thing you will find in school is how
to enhance your
idea's and direction using
non-ADDer's educational structure, credentials
and scholastic achievement.
-
Exactly like Steve Jobs when starting Apple. Documentaries have depicted
Jobs as insensitive, mean and un-feeling.
I believe he knew that, if
diverted from his passion's direction by listening to others ideas would be
pointless. It wasn't his narcissism or arrogance that made him a
perfectionist and demanded everything be done his way. He knew that,
if he allowed anyone to change,
alter or modify his direction, he would
loose his passion. He would loose focus and the company would implode.
As
soon as Jobs was asked to leave the company and put the educated people in
charge,
the company began to implode.
-
Jobs knew that all along and that's why he wouldn't/couldn't compromise and
left. The first thing Jobs did was find his passion
in a new project.
He did
and He and his passion became successful again.
-
The smart educated people voted to bring Jobs back and let him run
everything the way he wanted in the first place. Jobs knew what all
successful ADDer's know. You can only succeed if you have passion not just
education and credentials. Passion doesn't come from a spreadsheet or
understanding the system, only in part. Passion is the only thing that will
cause hyper/laser focus. hyper/laser focus is what drives your visions, goals, logistics
and problem solving skills. Hyper/laser focus gives you constant new ideas,
solutions, possibilities
and creativity. It gives you the ability to see
future products. Like the smart phone!
-
Jobs, in my opinion, would never have gone back to Apple for any amount of
money or stock options, if he couldn't bank on his passion and focus to
return. He would never have gone back to Apple because, without passion that
generates hyper/laser focus, he knew he would fail... at anything. Job's
knew he had to maintain “total control” over his direction or he would loose
his passion and focus.
Jobs protected his passion and focus like a junkyard
dog. No trespassing on my direction... ever!
He was ADD! He did it the only
way He could... “classic ADD”.
-
ADDer's do one thing better than anyone else... we all have the
ability to “hyper/laser focus” on our passion. Do you realize how powerful that
fact is? Am I saying; we are all Steve Jobs looking for passion, focus and
direction in life? Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying.
Look, Jobs had one
thing that made him who he was. Focus of passion and the ability to maintain
his direction which led to future technology and commerce. This is
where Steve Jobs lived and created...
In the “realm” of “hyper focus”.
The
birth place of passion, creativity, possibilities, and new direction.
-
Personally, I can't achieve the “realm of hyper/laser focus” without the right
strain of pot. Jobs has admitted to using pot.
( so have other billionaires
) How much, how often and to what extent, I don't know.| I do know, that Jobs
and others, didn't know about ADD at the time and self medicated with pot to
experience “brainstorming and hyper/laser focus”. If Jobs would have been
diagnosed ADD and treated early on, we would still be using a dial-up phone,
adding machines and Nickel ad's to run a business.
-
I believe all ADDer's have this ability because it's the only way we think.
Focus comes with passion.
We ADDer's normally have focus issues.
However,
when we find our passion, “hyper/laser focus” occurs, and it's relentless, not
giving ground to anything. If the world could function on education
alone...
“We ADDer's wouldn't need to be here to help envision and shape the
future!
-
No, I didn't know Jobs, never did. I've never read what I just wrote. It's
all my opinion based on, one ADDer recognizing another.
I think Jobs was the
greatest example of what all ADDer's can accomplish in life... “their
passion”. It's what you are driven to do, mandated by evolution. It doesn't
matter if your passion is 0's on a spreadsheet or O's on a bed sheet.
It's
all a very complex contribution to the evolution of us all.
-
Which are you? Are you mandated to living a passion-filled life or are you
going to pursue an education to insure your future?
It's a trick question... ADDer's have to choose passion and the non-ADDer's have to choose education.
Neither can function in the other's world. We can only compliment each other
in an exchange of contributions for the betterment of us all.
-
One day, certain employers will require that a job applicant be ADD. A
company needs ideas and vision.
They also need leaders with passion and
focus about those visions and ideas.
Nothing fits that need better than a
person with Adult ADD.
-
The PC, smart phone, all music, poetry, paintings, novels, athletes,
entertainers, etc. All were inspired by hyper/laser focus of passion. A “non-ADD”
person isn't wired to have these natural abilities. If it's not in a book,
how would they know or find out? For real!
Their passion must come from a
book that's already been published and explained with knowledge from an ADD
explorer,
pioneer or inventor. They had no prior, or very little, know-how
or education about their invention, exploration or project, just passion and
hyper focus..
-
What would all IQ tests look like if ADDer's wrote it for the non-ADDer's?
It wouldn't be possible because you can't logically
explain natural
abilities or genius to anal retentive people. Why would they listen? They
have all the education credentials,
diplomas, certificates, advanced
education, etc.
-
I believe Tony Robins is ADD because his success is based on the only way an
ADD person can function and excel.
“find your passion” and then “hyper/laser
focus” occurs. When an ADDer finds their passion, focus is automatic, all
consuming and relentless. You can't find that in a book or university. The
fact is...if Steve Jobs hadn't of quit college and focused on his passion,
we wouldn't have the Apple computer or iPhone. Honestly, do you really think we would
have the Apple PC if Jobs had
of spent his days filling out job
applications?
-
Jobs knew he couldn't work for someone else. Not because of the way he was,
but because of the way everyone else was.
A constant source of
missed-direction and lack of vision, sidelined by the “boundary's” of
their education and credentials. It would be nothing but a constant
contest between His passion's direction and their educated, step by step
approach to the mechanics of running a company... Why bother when passion
can move faster, problem solve a progressive and dynamic rage of growth and innovation, while totally out performing the limits of structured education.
I have found that, "passion and hyper focus" have a Master's Degree in the education of anything!
-
A non-ADD person relies totally on education, structure, written directions,
counseling and job placement. The more education the more certificates, the
more certificates the more money and opportunity. Perfectly normal approach
to a successful life.
This would never work for an ADDer. Even if college
was free. However, if part of achieving their passion meant taking classes,
an ADDer could excel past the whole class yet flunk everything else not
important to the goal... “hyper/laser focus” of the project
is in total control.
Right where we like it! Our goal isn't education, it's all about passion and
focus which transcends education,
sometimes by eons.
-
* In 1990 I began an affair. After the first year my girlfriend began
getting over 100 orgasms every time we made love.
This went on for almost 6
years, almost everyday. I was 43 when we met, she was 39. We both had been
married three times, had three kids, and never had an orgasm through
intercourse. She believed she couldn’t and that was that.
However, I knew
from past experiences from over 70 longer term relationships, I could change
that if she would just listen to me.
I told her, I had been with several
women that couldn't achieve orgasm through intercourse and then did, which
can lead to multiple.
-
She asked how I knew something no one else knew. I told her, I don't know
anything... you do! There's a million
reasons why orgasm doesn't happen. None of which is physical.
Then I asked
her some questions.
-
The dialog was based on the level of intimacy. I asked, have you ever
thought at any time in your life... is this it? Is this all there is?
Is
this all there is sexually because I know there is a lot more inside that
just won't come forward. She said; yes, just like most females. Exactly!
Stop thinking that and listen to me... there is more to life, this
isn't all there is and full sexual expression is on the horizon.
-
A few months in to our relationship things began to change until one day
“it” happened, we were both delighted. After 6 failed marriages between
us, we were very intrigued as to how it happened and why now. We both
experienced something new about sex that was unfamiliar to us. We kept
growing in this new dynamic, which allowed us to enter into a higher level
of sexuality and a much deeper communication. We experienced this by using
marijuana from the start of our relationship.
She, used pot for the first
time.
-
All we did was change our belief system with new
truths about love, sex, trust, intimacy, time together, male and female.
Being high, some how, can make intimacy and closeness a whole new
experience... at least for us. It never stops growing or reinventing itself.
Our “relationship” kept being elevated to new levels. Sex kept being
elevated also as a by-product of a great relationship which marijuana played
a major roll.
-
To me, marijuana is absolutely unique. It can cause a relationship to become
extremely close, loving and intimate. At which point...great sex will find
you. Any couple can use weed for great sex, I get that, but where does the
relationship fit in? Some people don’t want a relationship, just good sex. I
get that too. However, a “great relationship”
will always take sex to it’s
highest level.
-
A great relationship with one special person is what we all look for in
life. A relationship that has love, trust and loyalty, now has the ability
to dream bigger, with more confidence. You expect more out of life like,
happiness, security, self esteem, joy, fun, and family... on and on. A great
relationship makes everything better, icher and healthier in every way.
-
Like I said, weed is absolutely unique. It can deliver what you seek. Be it
physical, emotional, sexual, self revelations, pain relief, mood altering,
artistic, focus, temperament enhancer, just having fun, a happier lifestyle,
well being, brain storming new ideas with focus and passion.
What can you do
with all these features and benefit's?
I can live a longer, healthier life
with fewer
or no major organ or cancer issues.
-
Why do I think this? Simple deduction. I have friends that have gone through
cancer treatment and beat it! They starved the cancer and it left their
body. One of the key counseling issues through out the entire treatment was
absolutely no stress, worry, anxiety, anger or thinking anything that would
trigger any of these emotions... ever!
Which is debatably the very thing
that caused
the cancer in the first place.
-
Cancer feeds off all negative emotions that produce heavy stress loads on
different organs of the body. We all know how heavy that weight can become
after years of unresolved issues. In my opinion, pot is tailor made for
cancer patients as well as a proactive,
pre-cancer med for high stress,
worry, anxiety, anger or thinking anything that would trigger any of these
emotions.
-
I personally chose not to wait till I get a major organ breakdown or cancer
to go on a pot regimen. Being proactive in the elimination of negative
thoughts and lifestyle, make it possible to enjoy a healthier one.
If you
are older... positive, emotional, physical and recreational motivation is
the key to enjoying a longer, healthier life!
If you can't enjoy your life
when your healthy, what's the point to
a longer life?
-
It seems like the logical proactive thing to do. I've asked four doctors
this same question- if pot took away anxiety, anger or thinking anything
that would trigger any negative emotions, could you live longer and
healthier? They all said absolutely yes!
-
They also added... stress can
cause any major health problems in anyone no matter how healthy
they are. Unchecked stress will not only kill you but it will also
destroy your life years before you die. Personally speaking, I
don't want to be miserable and unhappy with no motivation. Die a
little everyday until I'm dead. My father died of stress and
worry. My mother died of a lifelong addiction to prescription
pills. One brother was killed on his motorcycle after nodding out
on heroine.
My other brother
died of alcohol and heroin addiction.
Died of liver failure.
-
My little sister looks ten years older than me and I'm actually ten years
older than her.
She was addicted to heroine at twelve years old. She's still
on methadone and dying a little each day. All wasted life! All pissed away!
Their contribution to the world... carbon dioxide!
-
I can't help but to say this... if they all would have been on a pot regimen
they could have all lived a much happier life and would never have lived one
day in the life destroying agony and horror of heroin and alcohol addiction.
My two younger brothers would still be here and my little sister wouldn't be
dying.
-
Some of us find ourselves living in a world that, because of circumstances
beyond our control, pot can become a “Super Hero” saving people from drugs
that kill and destroy their lives. Some say pot is the gateway to harder
drugs. I say, pot can be the pathway to getting off hard drugs and
can do it without being chemically addictive and capable of stopping use any
time with no harmful after effects.
-
Here’s how I know...every year or two I get a cold and cough. I stop smoking
weed for 2 to 4 weeks without any issues except I go back to the temperament
I normally have without pot which is impatient and angry but that’s all.
-
There is no other substance on the planet that can even come close to all
the benefits and positive uses that cannabis can. I'm the oldest and I have
lived longer than everyone in my family, including my parents that died in
their early 60's... I'm the only family member ever on a pot regimen.
If I
maintain my meds and pot regimen, I honestly expect to live a healthier and
happier life well into my 90's.
I plan to die while filling my 40 ft.
motor home with fuel on my
100th vacation adventure.
-
I wish the rest of my family had of used pot...
-
*What comes next is what compelled me to write this letter openly and
honestly.
-
First, I had to really re-think everything when this all began to happen
because old beliefs were still telling me, what’s happening is impossible.
(I hadn’t factored in using pot yet)
-
My girlfriend and I were average people with all the negativity, self-doubt,
low self-image, inferiorities, inadequacies and insecurities that most
everyone else has with ADD or not.
After 6 failed marriages between us, we
had our share.
-
Now imagine all at once, all the negatives, self doubt, and inadequacies
that have been apart of your life’s belief system are gone!
They’re gone at
work with your peer’s, in your own mind and in your relationship. You’re
simply not that person anymore and neither is the one you love!
-
You both are suddenly joint heirs in a new, exciting, reality and direction
in life. What’s really interesting is that neither one of you can be this
way with anyone but each other. It's what drives you closer together each
time. We now live and make love together with a new belief system based on
new, positive and healing truth's about ourselves and each other.
-
Trust brought us to this new place! It was what was missing all
along. Old belief system 's contain all of a person's filters.
Trust, in a
relationship is the only safe place you can go to find “belief” in someone. Without it, nothing works... Nothing!
-
Let me explain. In the beginning of our relationship we were both self
employed. We didn't have to be concerned about mandatory drug testing.
Six
years later my lady decided to work at a regular job.
At that point she
decided to stop using pot altogether because of her new job. It was the
responsible thing to do. The unintended consequence was me starting to drink
again.
-
I destroyed the trust factor in our relationship caused by drinking to
excess everyday. Alcohol, in my opinion, is the most dangerous drug on the
planet because it’s the most subtle. The damage that alcohol does to
everything is total and merciless to you, your spouse and your children way
before you ever realize it.
Alcohol and I had destroyed the most incredible
and beautiful part of both our lives.
-
The following paragraphs will give you a real idea of what alcohol took from
both of us and why I don't drink anymore.
I've had a close relationship with
both pot and alcohol for many years and what I can tell you for a fact
is...pot gives me life in abundance, alcohol gave me total destruction of my
health, my children, my marriages and basically everyone I loved. Cheers!
-
I lost the following ...as I remember it...
-
You have to begin a great relationship with the one you love and/or trust
the most, the closer the better. This is because of the depth of
communication and honesty needed. To get the most and best sex you’ve ever
had or ever will, you can only “be” with one person at a time. First of all,
you wouldn't have enough time or energy for more than one
relationship...plus, if you are in a relationship that can experience 100+
orgasms... who's going to turn your head? You can't get there with anyone
else.
-
Infidelity becomes obsolete! All the reasons for an affair or thinking of
past loves no longer exist, why would they?
Your relationship is now held in
the highest esteem with new found respect and awe... if not, the honeymoon
is over.
Our honeymoon lasted 6 years.
-
If you’re concerned about becoming bored or you need variety in a
relationship, I assure you, boredom or variety will never become an issue.
Orgasms occur in any position, any place, anytime or anywhere, no matter
what you do. Marijuana, for us, is the only way to "inter in" to that
special place, "your mind". The world stops for 2 to 4 hours and it's never
the same because you keep going to a deeper level. It’s a totally new
adventure every time.
-
After, you can't talk for at least an hour...all you can do is think about
what just happened in disbelief. Instead of picturing the sex, you picture
the moments of closeness, intimacy, trust, security and oneness just after
making love. I’m not saying you can’t feel that way now in your present
relationship, I’m saying, you can’t achieve this level of sexuality (if
that’s what you want)
without these attributes, plus new truths and
realizations. The orgasms are just a bi-product of a deeper communication
and understanding within the relationship, which is now achievable because
of some of the effects of marijuana, both mental and physical.
-
It doesn’t matter what
you buy, try, take, subscribe to, stop, start or use. It doesn’t
matter if you’re wealthy, educated, powerful,
good-looking, thin, hard body, large breasted, or hung.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a rock star,
movie star, porn star, sex symbol, billionaire or president. It doesn’t
matter if you find one person with all these attributes,
it still won’t
necessarily produce one orgasm
or insure a good relationship.
-
Once you have that special someone, it’s the “depth” of the relationship
between the two people that will determine everything in that relationship.
People try everything under the sun to be more attractive to have a better
sex life. You can enhance a relationship to feel secure, but ignore
important issues “in” the relationship that may “cause” insecurity, distrust
and future stress on the marriage. Everyone gives a hundred and ten percent
in the beginning. This will guarantee future infidelity... Giving and
pleasing is easy...
But, If you can't “accept” your spouse one hundred and
ten percent, then giving and pleasing becomes irrelevant and insulting.
The honeymoon's over! Eventually,
someone else will “accept” your spouse and they will become the recipient of
all future
“giving and pleasing”.
-
If someone had told me, at any
point in my life, that a relationship like the one I just wrote about
existed, I know my life would have been very different, just knowing.
Divorce, affairs, broken children, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, financial
ruin, depression, ill health and the constant stress over your own personal,
physical and sexual inadequacies have no place in a great
relationship.
-
This is not an easy letter to write to strangers, but it’s a “True Life”
story, a love story, that could benefit couples and individuals no matter
what they do with the information.
I believe there really is
a need to know.
-
Can you imagine the implications in this? Would there be less divorce,
infidelity, child abuse, spouse abuse, social diseases or AIDS?
I believe
there would be less, in time. today’s young people need something to hold on
to when asking parents about sex. As a parent, how would you like to tell
your teens, truthfully, that all they’ve heard or will hear about sex from
other kids,
movies, music or the internet is nothing compared to what they
can experience with one right relationship. With one right person.
Of
course, I'm not suggesting teens should use pot. However, in my
opinion, a "promiscuous lifestyle" is far more dangerous and prone
to dire consequences than is a "one only" relationship... with or
without pot.
-
Abstaining from casual sex is a smart thing. I know, as a parent and
grandparent, we want our children to experience life. However, a social
disease through casual sex isn’t a life experience that needs to be
experienced. One person can give you a hundred times more than a 100
individuals can so don’t think you would be missing anything being with just
one person.
-
I know... that’s a pretty bold statement but it’s true. A one (only) person
relationship can be had with understanding.
To go beyond, “beyond” you must
have a great relationship!
Casual sex can never lead you to a great
relationship but it can sure destroy one!
-
What’s being taught in schools now days is obsolete and damn sure ain’t
working. Every social disease is on the rise and so is divorce and broken
children. One of the fastest growing internet businesses today is helping
people find a great relationship. Why?
Because, of the enormous number of
failed relationships, and to find a good person to share raising
pre-existing children with.
-
Normally, the first thing a new member does is get in shape, get tan and
take some great selfies for their bio.
This is because you can’t leave sex
out of a relationship.
-
Everyone on the planet loves sex ...if it’s good! You can’t be secure or
have a great sense of purpose and well being without it.
-
*You may think using anything as an “aid” in life, somehow makes it an
invalid or un-necessary experience...
-
OK, what aid are we talking about? Marijuana, my glasses, my hearing aid,
my meds that aid me with diabetes, cholesterol, stroke, heart attack,
anti-inflammatory, headache, thyroid, antibiotics, depression, sleep,
stress, allergies, colds, viruses, vitamins.
I could go on with the list but
first I would like to know what aid do I stop taking to make my life work
better?
Which one of the above aids come without a warning on the
label? Prescribed or over-the-counter? None!
They all have warning labels. Ibuprofen has more warnings and long term negative effects than pot does...
-
Pot, makes my life work better! I mean, why take all the other meds
just to live a defeated life and then die? All the meds I take keep my body
functioning well at 74...
Pot gives me the passion for life and
motivation to be able to enjoy my good health. It's what gets me up each day
with excitement and great expectations because I know it's going to be a
great day with motivation!
Ya gotta keep movin or nature will begin the
“death spiral” sequence. ...just sayin!
-
The dilemma... I know, at 71, for some,
movement of any kind can be painful. It's no wonder why older
folks can't get motivated to do the very things that create better
health and longevity... it hurts! It hurts while you walk, shop or play with the
grandkids.
Now, you have to recover. Then you have to try and
sleep thru the night.
Then you have to get up the next day and do
it all again.
Or, sit in a chair for a few days just to get
mentally prepared to go thru the hours of pain and insomnia caused
by pain.
This is where pain pills might be considered. Now you are
faced with possible addition, chronic constipation, immobility,
boredom and depression which will be remedied with more pills.
I use pot for the two things that take care of everything else...
it gives me a sense of well being and the motivation that it
brings.
At this point, I don't think about the pain enough to stop me from
"living" while I'm alive. It makes me want to live a better
lifestyle.
-
I had prepared to die of ill health with no hope at 63.
I now plan on living till I'm 100+ because it's something to look
forward to now.
Remember the feeling as a child when you woke up
and morning smiled...
-
Just smoking grass isn’t like any other “stand alone” experience if you know
what to do with it and use the right strain of pot to get the right results.
After smoking pot for 50+ years I've learned just how diversified cannabis
is. When you consider sativa, indica and hybrids you're looking at several
hundred different strains and new hybrids coming out everyday.
You learn
what strain can make you anxious, and which one is the opposite with it's
relaxing, sleepy, couch lock, hungry effects.
If you don't want to get the
munchies and couch lock don't use pure Indica.
If you don't want to be edgy
or shaky like an energy drink or too much coffee, don't use pure Sativa.
-
If CBD's are important to you, just remember, The sense of well
being and motivation comes from THC. To me,
THC is much more
important for your frame of mind, plus aid's in pain.
My wife and I tried CBD cannabis with no noticeable effect or
benefit... doesn't mean it won't work for others. There are
strains that contain both.
-
Hybrids find the sweet spot for each individuals desired effect. Don't get
me wrong, pure Indica and pure Sativa are very desirable...
I just don't
recommend either for new users. If you don't know what to expect and are determined to try pot, go with a recommended Hybrid first... one toke at a time, keeps you from, one toke over the line!
-
Important note: You must not drink alcohol during this time. Alcohol will
all but guarantee a bad experience.
No other meds either, i.e.; aspirin, cold med, allergy med. No coffee, no energy drink. Don't try if depressed or
emotional.
-
Find out what hybrid is tailor-made for you and your relationship. You may
even want to use several different strains for different effects as I do.
Between the weather, news, your “to do list” and everyday stresses, you find
that your moods or needs can change at different times of the day. I
personally have several strains (10 to 12) at the ready at all times.
Why? I
don't ever want another bad day! If I can prevent a bad day... why
shouldn't I, why
wouldn't I, why couldn't I, why can't I?
-
Now, I have a “say” in what I'm going through at the time. If my Lady or I
don't want to be a “mood's victim”, we can change the mood with one of the
12 strains that allow us to pick the direction we want to go in for the rest
of the day or evening.
Being dialed in with your spouse/partner at the end of the
day is exactly where I want to be.
-
No man made drug can do that. In my opinion, pot in a very positive
way, can change your life, your marriage, your sex life, your health, your
negativity and anger issues. It’s great for just being happy with a genuine
sense of well being. For me, it's just a healthier, happier and better
way of life. Please don't think I'm trying to encourage anyone to
take any substance they don't consider necessary. Remember, I've
been using pot for over 53 years, for everything. So naturally, as
a healthy 74 yo,
it's hard for me to see or understand how people, even today, freak out over
the use of pot.
-
Please note
my opinion: Anyone thinking of using cannabis as a lifestyle
should first educate themselves with a “personal feasibility
study. How does pot effect you and your
partner as individuals and jointly in a relationship. Depending on your age,
what do you want from pot?
Pot is the only substance on earth that can
“partner” with you and enhance whatever direction or experience you choose
to go with. At least for me.
-
I went to a 30 day, in-house alcohol treatment facility which nationally
they had
a cure rate of only 17% (National Average).
After, I was sober for one year. I
celebrated this milestone of achievement with two bottles of Champaign. I
started drinking again the next day and everyday after. I have not driven drunk in over ten
years, where it used to be daily.
-
I’ve gotten my diabetes to goal, high blood pressure is gone, heart
palpitations are gone, cholesterol at goal, lost 50 pounds without going on
a diet... thanks Sativa! I feel and look 20 years younger and getting
younger everyday!
Stress and anger are a thing of the past and the family
loves it. I no longer have chronic insomnia.
-
I was a very unhappy, walking dead man before changing my life style.
My life is fun again. I start everyday
using pot.
I take it like a medical regimen. I have 2 to 3 tokes every 3.5
to 4 hours all through the day...everyday and have for years.
I don’t get
baked or very stoned. Like any meds, you can’t over/under dose and expect
proper results.
For me, pot is a med, to be taken correctly.
-
Selecting the correct strain is also critical. For me, a hybrid pot strain
of 70 % sativa, with 30% indica is the way I start my day.
I call it “get
off your ass grass”. It keeps me active and in good spirits... It makes you
feel young again! I never use indica till night, makes me feel lazy and
sleepy all day, even depressed. I don’t use pot for recreation because I’m
already in recreation mode all day, everyday. Like I said it’s a lifestyle
change.
-
I could triple the dose of any of the many
meds I take daily and wind up in the hospital or dead. I could
triple or quadruple my intake of pot and it wouldn't do much more
than put me to sleep, make me eat, dance, laugh, brainstorm or
just trip. The benefits in the proper use of pot should not get
mixed in with what people are doing to get it illegally.
-
I am the most positive minded, focused, happiest, nicest and full of great
expectations for the day ahead. I’m that way all day everyday as long as I
use grass. I use it for pain relief, Insomnia, brain storming new ideas and
much more.
Why should I wait till “week-end
recreation” to enjoy all the attributes and benefits?
-
Of course at 73 and retired with a med pot grower license, it’s easy for me
to live this life style. My lady is a baby boomer as well.
Like us, most older folks have a lot
of issues similar to ours. I finally got my lady to get on the same pot
regimen as me because she no longer works, plus it's legal now. She is
experiencing the same benefits as me. She’s lost 50 pounds as well.
She has
stopped using prescribed Oxycodone for pain! (chronic regional pain
syndrome).
Pot just prevented another person from the horrible effects of
prescribed Oxy addiction and saved me from alcohol addition.
We’re like peas and carrots again! Seriously, our relationship is like it
was approx.. 27 years ago. We got our groove back!
We still have great fun
and lots of love in our great relationship. That, will take us the rest of
the way. I finally know what was missing in my parents marriage. They just
had a reason to get married. They never had a reason to have a
relationship...
I went on a life long quest, just to find that out... I'd do
it again in a heartbeat! Well, if the world was still the same, I would.
Man! What a time in history it was! Brotherly love and peace signs were the
norm... pot was there too!
-
ADD...
-
*My youngest
son was as ADD as I was. Going through school he was always in
trouble just like me.
-
His 4th
grade principal called me for a conference. He informed me that school had
been in session for 40 days and that my son had been sent to him for
fighting 41 times. My son, had no idea why he was in trouble all the time.
Like me, he wouldn’t allow anyone to say anything derogatory.
-
This could explain why approximately 50% of the 2.3 million people
incarcerated across the U.S. have been diagnosed as to having ADD/ADHD.
I was headed there myself, not because I wanted to be a criminal but because
I was being discharged from the army at 20 with a wife and baby. I didn’t
believe I could get or hold on to a regular job and I knew going back to
school wouldn’t do any good.
Plus, I still had no education or job skills. A black army buddy that lived in St.
Paul got me an interview with a black gang leader to be his bodyguard. Went
to a house where 4 people were playing poker. It was dead silent.
They never stopped playing poker or even looked up. All of a sudden, the leader (with his back to us) said, you two
don't need to be here. So, we did an about-face and moved out
smartly.
I remember being more afraid of not
being able to take care of my family than I was of becoming a criminal.
Thankfully, my offer to be a thug recruit was the worst idea I ever had.
-
Fortunately, I learned that ex-military was automatically first in line for
any job applied for. I got hired and because I was shown what to do “hands
on”, I learned a new way of learning. Since that time, 53 years ago, I have
been a millionaire twice, paid cash for and drove a Ferrari for 8 years, had
a party boathouse and speedboat moored on the Columbia River, 34ft.
motorhome, chromed motor cycle, opened
a dozen restaurants, had over 600 employee’s, then decided
to be a luxury home builder. The last home I built was 8,000 square feet on
acreage for over a million dollars. All “self taught” because of ADD. I said
all that to illustrate and bring attention to the focusing qualities of
marijuana on ADD adults.
-
I would also like to share my thoughts on how and why people have ADD/ADHD.
-
Personally, growing up I remember being bothered all the time because of a
very dysfunctional and abusive home life.
Who can focus when they are
bothered all the time? Minority children (African American, Hispanics and
Whites living in poverty neighborhoods) have a much higher percentage of ADD
because of their environment. The stress and worry of living in a
neighborhood where you are afraid to walk to or from school. Where there are
drive-by shootings. You probably live at poverty level with only one parent
at home. Guns going off at all hours and sirens are heard all night as well.
How could anyone focus on school or home work in an environment like that?
-
In my opinion, these children will be diagnosed as having ADD simply because
they're bothered and therefore can't focus.
They will fall through the
cracks for not caring about school work and being a poor student. They will
drop out of school with no education or job skills because they will be
convinced they can't learn anyway. They will join a gang because they will
have no choice...
As I almost did.
-
They will become incarcerated with a lot of other ADDer's all learning how
to be a better criminal so they can survive on the outside.
They have no
other skills because of ADD, induced by their environment. To me, this
explains the higher percentage of minorities incarcerated in prisons across
the country. They come from a much more extreme environment growing up.
During their formative years and school age years they were continuously
traumatized. Anyone could acquire ADD in that environment.
Ever hear the
term... "criminal genius"? They are incarcerated ADDer's with hyper/laser focus on
becoming the most successful money maker in history when they get out. Some,
can even rival a "fortune 500" company for structure, organization and
profitability... and do it as a high school drop out. Their environment gave
them ADD. ADD brings hyper/laser focus on whatever you want to succeed at...
legal
or not!
-
You may think that ADD wouldn't be a catalyst for violence. Try telling a
black man or a brown man or a white man with ADD they have a problem and see
what happens! Any inference of being inferior or being of less intelligence
will cost you your life in prison.
The only “gold standard” in prison is
“respect”. All minorities and ADDer's have been made to feel “looked down
on” their whole lives.
I believe ADD is the cause of more fights and murder
in prison than racism or gangs. I believe that ADDer's join gangs and groups
to get their respect. And, that's what all the fighting is about... respect!
And... being looked down on.
-
It's not whites against the blacks, Latino against whites and blacks. It's
not race that starts the war... it's, someone disrespecting some one or
their group. It doesn't really have to be about race or gang related infractions. All it
takes is one incident of disrespect to start a war.
Even If you disrespect
one of your own gang members, you can still be killed or beaten.
-
If there are over a million
people incarcerated with ADD it would make more sense to have them
grow the med marijuana on prison farm acreage. Use it for a daily
regimen to focus while going to school, learning a skill or
discovering their passion for when
they get out.
Now, they're totally focused on
getting out of prison with dignity and opportunity.
Growing pot has become a
legal, and fast growing industry in high demand. (thinking out of the box
here)
-
I know this sounds insane to just about everyone, but for people that can’t
focus because of ADD it’s the missing equation to a life long struggle.
Don't put us in jail or divorce us because you think we're addicts for
smoking pot. All we're trying to do is lead a normal and productive life. We
don't need to be divorced or incarcerated... we need to be understood.
-
I
also believe almost all homeless people and street
prostitutes are ADD. They don't believe they can get a job or keep
one if they did.
They believe they can't go to school for more
education or up-dated learning skills because of ADD, trauma or
abuse. They live
homeless because they honestly believe they can't learn and they
believe they are not acceptable to anyone. That's why they choose to live the way they do, alone
and with other's like themselves.
They are truly the forgotten people. So, next time you are with someone that
says the inevitable, "If they wanted to... they could get a real
job and have a normal life". Maybe you can tell them for me that,
it's ADD that has them convinced they belong there whether they
realize they have ADD or not. Theirs is a horrible life, with
absolutely no hope.
They don't realize that many of the luxury
cars driving by are owned by successful people with ADD as bad or
worse than theirs.
I drove a Ferrari for 8 years.
-
What if... a homeless person or street
prostitute
walked up to you and
said; "How would you feel if you were on your
own, with no direction home, a complete unknown, a
rolling stone, scrounging your next meal, how would you
feel? Of course, those words came from the lyrical genius,
Bob Dylan. In my opinion, Dylan has to be ADD to write those
lyrics.
n immigrant with no job skills or understanding the language can survive
better and go on to a successful life.
ADD has many faces. This fact has to be
understood or change will never come... ADD is everywhere. See for
yourself...
http://www.addforums.com/forums/
-
*The original reason I chose a daily pot regimen came after talking to my
oldest son about the effects of Ritalin. I was desperate to find a way to
focus so I could function at a higher level. He had been on a prescribed
Ritalin regimen for years because of ADD. I asked what it was like being on
Ritalin. His answer surprised me but made sense when he said; it’s like
being stoned on pot all day, everyday.
It makes you focus. That’s all I
needed to hear. I started the same regimen the next day, only I used pot
instead and have everyday since.
With stellar results I might add and...I
maintain my personality. No walking around with noticeable character changes
like, being spacy, distant or unsociable.
-
My son never married and
lives alone. He went on to become a day trader and invented
the "Spider Fighter". Sold through Amazon all over the U.S. for about
5 years now.
If you don't like spiders and hate getting them off the ceilings,
in corners or other difficult places. There's nothing on the
market like the Spider Fighter... and it works!
Check out the video...
http://thespiderfighter.com/
-
Having said all that, I need to qualify something. I don’t have a clue as to
how pot effects people that don’t have ADD. What do they experience? Not
entirely what I do... I assume? Lots to factor in.
-
Case in point; I asked a bud tender what good sativa did he recommend for
brainstorming and focus? He said; when I get home from work I don't want to
think about anything, just zone. Then he said; thinking while on pot, to
him, was a waist of time and money.
He smoked pot to not think,
just used it to chill or get high.
-
Obviously he wasn't ADD and wouldn't understand using pot as a med to aid
focus and brainstorming new ideas or solutions to old problems.
Pot, over all, seems to be able to
partner with and enhance certain aspects of any person, at any time, for
most any reason.
However, the strain of pot must fit the occasion and
purpose to get the best of a persons desired results.
-
Conclusion... some folks use pot to become relaxed in the prone position,
others use it for everything but relaxing. Depends on the strain and/or the
person.
-
On the internet you can view lots of forums praising pot and all it’s many
benefits. You can also find a lot of forums where everyone talks about how
they broke the addiction and curse of pot because it ruined their lives.
Maybe the difference between the two entirely opposite view points are
simply... one forum group is probably ADD (whether they realize it or not)
and understand and experience all the benefits.
-
Non-ADD forum groups wouldn't have the same reaction to pot as ADDer's. They
would probably categorize pot more as a “get high” only drug (just for
getting stoned rather than a med) they got addicted to and it led to trying
harder drugs and screwed their life up.
I don’t understand that at all.
-
Except when you consider the fact that some people can drink coffee all day
until bedtime and go right to sleep. Others can't drink more than one cup
all day or they will be awake all night.
-
In my opinion, ADDer's need a stimulant, not to calm down, but be able to
focus on one thing at a time, enough to sleep or problem solve.
That sounds
like a contradiction but a stimulant will cause hyper/laser focus on one thing
until you fall asleep. You can't sleep or solve a problem thinking of 50
things at once, you need to focus on one. I Believe this is the fundamental
difference in the opposing points of view in different forums. This makes
both forum points of view 100% accurate even though opposite.
It depends on
an individual's own chemical reaction to pot.
-
Research on the Net has shown me that approx. a third of the U.S. Is
ADD/ADHD. If so, it makes perfect sense why the legalization of pot is
vigorously split down the middle. Both sides think they are absolutely
right...and they are...based on their understanding of what it does for or
to them individually. There are two reasons for using pot. Recreational or
medical.
Same pot, with entirely two legitimate different reasons for using
it... or not.
-
I had two younger brothers that are both dead now. One because of a heroin
overdose and the other died from chronic alcoholism.
Both would still be
here alive and happy if they had been on a pot regimen. Pot didn’t
participate in the death of my brothers.
Pot was always standing by ready to
save their lives. No one understood that then. Most people don’t now.
If I could have told them about the
pot regimen they would be alive today.
They were also ADD.
-
There are
hundreds of reasons in this true story to legalize and make
available marijuana to all military personnel who request it.
Before you tell me
it's cost prohibitive, realize this...
They have already paid the price with a much greater cost than a
bag of weed!
My life isn’t in turmoil anymore... I can focus! What can I say?
Pot saved
my life, then gave me a life and still is.
Though you failed at love and lost
And sorrow's turned your heart to frost
I will melt your heart again
Remember the feeling as a child
When you woke up and morning smiled
It's time you felt like that again
There's just no percentage in
remembering the past
It's time you learned to live again and
love and laugh
Come with me but leave your yesterday
behind
And take a giant step outside your mind
You stare at me with disbelief
You say for you there's no relief
But girl I swear it won't do you no
harm Don't sit there in your lonely room
Just looking back inside that gloom
Mama that's not were you belong
Come with me I'll take you where the
taste of life is green
And everyday, in every way, all of life's just
got to be seen.
(Lyrics- Taj
Mahal:1969- "Take a giant step"
-
Celebrities with ADD- Video's
"From
one Boomer Vet to Another and their Adult Children"
highdefadd@gmail.com
HIGHDEFADD 2013-2020 (All rights reserved)
|
|